And So It Shall Be

I think we FINALLY decided on a vacation spot.

So, break out the pink pants and strappy sandals.

I wonder what Trixie will bring to wear?

At this point, it looks like

Palm Island

is the choice.

A bitch of a flight, but MY GOD, it's a private island in the middle of the Grenadines...so, how else do you plan to get there?

The Grueling Itinerary:

Leave St. Louis 6:45 a.m.

Arrive Miami 10:24 a.m.

Leave Miami 6:08 p.m.

Arrive Barbados 10:24 p.m.

Overnight in Barbados

Hop puddle-jumper from Barbados 8:00 a.m.

Arrive Union Island 8:15 a.m.

Board Ferry Union Island 9:00 a.m.

Arrive Palm Island 9:08 a.m.

Crazy?

Yes.

But,

LOOK AT THE PICTURES!

Only 26 bungalows on the entire island.

Raise your flag when you need a drink.

I'm gonna need lots of flags...

On another note, today is Trixie's birthday.

Happy Birthday babe.

With all this talk of oceans and air, I'm truly lucky to have such a warm piece of dry land in my life.

Thanks to J & Becky, who treated us to dinner on Saturday night at Trattoria Marcella. You guys are the best!

If you're in St. Louis, do yourself a favor.

Drop what you're doing, get in the car or take a bus

and

get there.

Ask for David.

My GOD.

I'd suffocate my mother for another taste of that calamari...

A Very Special Episode

We've heard it before, and we'll hear it again.

A throaty male voice and a splashy montage of teasers alert us to:

A Very Special Episode

So, tonight on The OC, we'll be treated to a "very special episode" where Seth...oh my God...appears to smoke a left handed cigarette!!!

The teasers show him opening his desk drawer, revealing three fat ones.

I know it's been about ten years since I puffed the Magic Dragon, but who smokes joints anymore???

Let's at least be realistic and have Sandy bust him with a four foot graphix bong or a hookah or something...but joints???

Even more realistic, let's have Sandy swipe the grass from Seth and go veg on the patio with Kirsten and a couple spliffs...

Enough about that.

What's your favorite "very special episode"?

The two that come to my mind are of course:

The "Child Molestation" episode of Different Strokes, where the late Gordon Jump plays "a relative" that while "playing" with Arnold and Joey, asks them "why don't we just take our shirts off for a while?"

The "Speed" episode of Saved by the Bell where Jesse goes into rehab for "caffeine pills". "I'm so excited...."

How about you? What are your favorite "very special episodes"?

It's Been With Me Longer Than I Thought

So, last night, I come across Norton's Anthology of American Literature.

Scratched within the table of contents, in my sloppy script are various notes of various importance. Most of them are indiscernible to me now, but they must have made sense at the time. A listing of authors, including Faulkner, O'Connor, Cummings, Cheever, Baldwin, etc. are scratched above the date for the final exam. I guess we covered them on the test.

What was most interesting was going through the 2,000+ pages with Trixie, while standing in the closet, changing for bed.

I amassed a quantity of margin notes, consisting of scholarly quips like "bullshit" or "fallacy" or "perfect redneck", of which brought us much to laugh about, and peering through the shades of perspective, little to understand.

I think the best was a conversation I was having with the girl sitting next to me, that apparently instead of talking, we just wrote.

To paraphrase:

Me - So, I'm dating one of your Alpha Delta Pi sisters.

Her - Awesome!

Me - Yeah, she's pretty cool. I'm going to the Delta Zeta dance next week.

Her - I'm sorry.

Me- Oh, it'll be fun.

Her - I'm sorry.

Me - When is your house having a dance? I can go to that too.

So, apparently we learned two things last night:

1. At some point in my life, I was able to not only attract, but juggle multiple hot chicks...openly...and get away with it.
2. I've had the attention span of a gnat for longer than I thought.

If Anything Calls For Your Pity...

...it's Skating With Celebrities.

My God.

If I ever find myself pandering for that one last bit of adoration, fucking shoot me.

I would rather have wolverines knash at my nipples than shrug off the small bit of intergity that warms my narrow shoulders.

Todd Bridges dressed as a cowboy, complete with "cowboy boot skates"? Then he pulls the "what'ch you talkin' about" with a judge. Again with the pandering and dissolving integrity...

Bruce Jenner looking much more like the Good Humor Man than Lt. Mayo.

Dave Coulier and Nancy Kerrigan as the Blues Brothers? C'mon Dave. Cut...It...Out. I thought you were a comedian! You should have wowed the crowd with a comedic rendition of the "Nancy - Asp - Knee Hurt - Why? Why? Why?" At least your artistic scores would have been better, although your skating was frighteningly good for someone who's been "blown in a theater". Was that theater in the East Village?

All in all, a depressing parade of shattered lives.

Of course I'll watch again!



Does anybody remember Gummy Worms?

BACK! With Some Wind In My Sails...

For fuck's sake, man.

What's happening in my life lately?

Well, Christmas is over and was FAN-TAS-TIC!

Among the favorite Christmas experiences was getting a Ten Point Buck! I'm actually pretty damn proud of myself.

Got a paralyzing cold on the Friday before New Year's Eve.

Let me tell you this...ZI-CAM.

Shit works.

I don't know who made the deal with the devil here, but I must express my deep and sincere appreciation...

FRIDAY = Flat on my back

SATURDAY = Was out and about, hockey game with J & Becky (SUPER-MARVELOUS SEATS GUYS! THANKS AGAIN!) and then to a party at another friend's house.

Haven't had any time to post lately...fucking career.

What's on my plate now?

Trying to plan our annual vacation. Not sure where we want to go this year or what we want to do...We had better make up our minds, as February will be here before we know it...

Trixie and I can't decide if we want to do something low key like Eleuthera or Turks and Caicos or if we want to stretch the muscles a bit and sail from Tortola through the BVI.

Trixie has a colleague that sails the Caribbean quite often and after speaking with him recently, he's got us more than interested...However, we're not sure if we want to go this year, or maybe plan to invite a few friends along and go next year...J & Becky have indicated an interest and it would be a blast to sail with them.

So, in closing, a quick story:

I'm stumbling through my morning routine at home today and notice that Trixie has done some straightening, etc. throughout the house. I don't get it. The housekeeper comes on Wednesdays. She cleans before the house gets cleaned?

All for now kids.