Snap, Crackle, Pop and Mullet

I'm in the check out line at Office Max yesterday.

All I needed to do was dart in and out to grab some padded envelopes.

Not so easy.

As the cashier is looking for our tax exempt information, an unrestrained, mulleted child (chullet) is running roughshod all around me, bumping me and climbing up on the counter to "sign his credit card reciept" at the automated machine.

I sigh audibly to no avail.

Mom, who is dressed in a tea stained tank top, bleach splotched jean shorts, high top tennis shoes,stinks of cigarettes and is visibly dirty, is checking out the digital camera display.

As the cashier continues to fumble through the book, the kid bumps me again. He's got a package of Starburst in one hand and a Rice Krispie Treat in the other.

These are his intended purchases.

I level a glare at mom, who says, "no Satan (named changed because I can't recall it), you don't need those. Come on, mom's going to get this new video game."

The child begins to shriek and scream at such decibel levels that he draws the attention of shoppers in the manila folder aisle, in the rear of the store.

I give the cashier a "can we work a little faster?" look, and she complies.

I look back as I dash away from the white trash now at the counter, and see that not only is Satan still acting petulant, mom has placed the Starburst and the Rice Krispie Treat up on the counter for purchase.

What that kid needed was a smack across the mouth, not more sugar...