4 A.M. Bratwurst

Received this morning from Meredith, fiance of my best friend Van:

So at 4:30 this morning Van starts wrestling with his c-pap mask and wakes me up. I asked him what was wrong and he is either talking gibberish or I'm so tired everything I hear sounds like gibberish because after all it is 4:30.

So then he gets up, puts his c-pap mask in MY underwear drawer and proceeds to sit on my side of the bed and rustle around in his shirt drawer. All the while I am asking him "what are you doing?" to which he is responding with "we need to widen the door..." and other nonsense.

He finds a shirt and takes off the shirt he has on and puts a new shirt on. I say to him "Van, you already have a shirt on, what are you doing?" and he says "this shirt is dirty." So he puts on the new shirt and heads downstairs.

At this point he's spiked my interest and I'm fully awaken. I lay and listen to see what he's going to do next. I figured he would lie down on the couch and fall asleep. Instead, I hear the microwave start going. I go down there because I HAVE TO see what he's cooking. There he is standing there with a bratwurst on a plate. He looks at me and says "what? I'm hungry".

I went back upstairs and when I got up this morning he was asleep on the couch with his headphones next to him and the TV on, and on the coffee table is a plate with the remains of a hot dog bun. He also had a glass of iced tea sitting there. I wake him up and ask him if he remembers waking up and cooking a brat last night to which he replies "yeah." then I left for work.