I Ask Myself This...

Last night, Trixie and I celebrated our 4th wedding anniversary.

As I was enjoying a Fat Tire amber ale, my cell phone rang. It was my mother, wishing us a happy anniversary.

We spoke for a few minutes, and I soon retreated to my big, fat, leather club chair. I hoisted my legs upon the outstretched ottoman and picked up my cold glass of beer.

And then it happened:

I placed my cell phone on my belly

So, I asked myself this question:

Just how long have I used my stomach as a shelf?

I pondered the question for a few moments, and a brief run through my mind's chronicles led me to beleive that I've been doing this for some time. I remembered that I've been known to rest the television remote there, and more than a few beer glasses have found comfort in the soft wonderland that is my gut.

I quickly wrapped up my reflections and returned to my aptly named "Fat Tire" amber ale.

What's next, hanging Christmas ornaments from my man boobs?