A Chill in the Uncharacteristicly Warm Spring Air

You ever run into someone you wished you'd never see again? Yeah, happened to my wife and I last night.

The backstory: About two years ago, the wife of a great friend of mine, who is many years younger than he, and terminally immature, said some pretty hurtful and inconsiderate things about me, my friends and my home. All the friends pretty much decided that although we love her husband, she couldn't be tolerated, and therefore we would spare him the emabarassment of telling him how we felt, and just not call them anymore. It's been 2 years since we saw her.

From an email I sent the friends this morning:

So, we’re at the Home Depot and as we’re leaving the store, I turn to help the wife with our purchases and I hear someone call out my name. I instinctively turn around and see someone waving at me. I don’t recognize them, so I give a quick smirk and walk away wondering “Who in THE HELL was THAT?”

We’re walking to our car, and from behind me I hear someone shout “Hey!” Again, for some reason, I instinctively turn around and am perplexed because my brain is scanning 30 years of vivid physical images and struggling to make a connection. Finally, it dawns on me that it’s Miss Manners, only she doesn’t look like the Miss Manners that insulted all of us so long ago.

I nervously say “Miss Manners?”

“Yeah! Weren’t you gonna say hello?”

“Oh yeah! Honestly, I couldn’t place you! I didn’t recognize you!”

So the conversation turns to why we’re at Home Depot, etc.

She and hubby are moving next week to a house they bought.

I ask her where the house is, and she responds “Oh, well I can tell you it’s NOT on SHEFFIELD ROW! WOW you guys!” This is where I should have said something snide like, “Oh, don’t feel bad that we can afford it and you can’t”, but I remained a gentleman.

Apparently, she wanted a 2 story in a really nice neighborhood and the hubby said no. So, they’re moving to some existing house off of Bob's Road.

She then starts asking all of these questions like “So, is Van still with Meredith?” and “What are Jefferson and Bridget doing with themselves?”, hoping I can recount all of your failures and express them to her for her sick pleasure.

“Oh, yeah, Van and Meredith are getting married and they live in a beautiful house. They’re living on over an acre and Van manages to take care of the lawn on his riding lawn mower.”

“Jefferson and Bridget are doing great. They live in this HUGE three story building on Greystone. Way too much space for them, but you know how it’s important to have LOTS of space...”

So then I tell her “Why don’t you tell that jerk husband to call us some time. We miss him.”

“Oh, yeah we really don’t do anything. We usually go over to Ben and Camilla's or something.”

Then she pulls out a picture of their latest, we make our way to the car and she hops into a powder blue minivan and leaves.

It was very difficult to remain civil.

As we’re pulling away, the wife put it all in perspective when she said “Yup, still a bitch.”