The Box and the Bottle

Quite recently, my wife and I were walking the grounds of our new home - our soon to be next door neighbor was joining us. He's been in his house since December and is the only other house on the street. He's a very knowledgeable guy, and spent a considerable amount of time touring our home with us, pointing out little things here and there to ask the builder to do over or completely replace, etc. For a guy like me, who merely assists in home improvement projects, I was quite thankful for the good advice.

We make our way to the rear of the home, and as we're traversing through the yard, our neighbor notices a box and says "Oh no they didn't." I, ever the eager (nosy) one, start to make my way for the box, when the neighbor says, "Oh, no, you don't want to look in there." My wife takes a peek and confirms this. She's a medical professional, she sees gross stuff all day long.

So, I take their word for it and continue to tour the grounds. It's then that my neighbor whips out his cell phone, and with the touch of one button is connected to the builder.

"Yeah, this is Dolph. Do you want to come down here and get rid of this box of shit, or do you want my kids to find it first?"

"Box of shit? I told the crew to move the box of nails, etc. the other day. They didn't move it?"

"No, you're not quite following me. There is a box with human shit in it, here in my neighbor's yard."

"Oh my God."

After speaking with the builder personally, I learn that since there are no toilets in the house yet, sometimes the guys on the "crew" can be crude. Never mind the fact that there's a Johnny On the Spot at the end of the lane, I guess sometimes NOTHING can stand in the way of progress.

So, after all that, what did my wife and I find in the yard just last week?

A gatorade bottle full of piss. Ever the optimist, I tell my wife, maybe it was orange and it's sun-faded...After examining the bottle closely, no, it was grape.

I guess sometimes, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Neandrethals.