Questions to Ponder Whilst Making Toast

1. How far past the expiration date of meat is it still safe to eat?
2. Why is Journey still enduring a snubbing by the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame?
3. Why are fire trucks red? Wouldn't a big pink polka dot paint job be more alarming?
4. Why won't Cat Stevens come back?
5. Why do Karaoke books feature "Happy Birthday?" If you don't remember the words...
6. How come I love boobs, but I'm not crazy about mine?
7. Why is Hasselhoff big in Germany?
8. Why do you ask people how they're doing when you really don't give a fuck?
9. Is Andy Kauffman dead?
10. Would MLK be horrified by this society of entitlement?
11. Did we go to the moon?
12. How come when you have crabs boiling in a pot people want to come over for dinner, but when you have them in your boxers they flee from your sight?
13. How come when something is spelled TAST-T instead of Tasty it's more appealing and you find yourself compelled to buy it?
14. How did the little silver speckles in my counter tops form?
15. Why is egg nog only available during the holiday season?
16. If Porsche employs some of the best engineers in the world, why do they need to take the car off its chasis to change the oil?
17. Why is it fun to sit outside in a hot tob while it's snowing?
18. Why is it my dog was bred to go underground, yet he hates enclosed spaces?
19. How come Ralph Lauren Polo took off but Knights of the Round Table didn't?
20. Why do people selling big houses act all snobby when, when it comes down to it, they couldn't buy the house they're trying to sell you?

Oh fuck, I burnt my toast.