Pants - Yellow and Deeply Stained
So, I'm reading today, and he's got a piss yourself its so funny post about gas passing in elevators, which reminds me of a story of a guy I used to work with.
Ray was really successful, wealthy, but still retained the tarnished edges of an upbringing in a poor family. He could talk to anyone, from any economic background. He was just the kind of guy everybody loved.
Anyway, he's in Boston for a conference about 30 years ago. Needless to say, being from the midwest, he's eating A LOT of seafood.
He's in a business session and he begins to feel movement in his intestines.
He gets up and steps outside the room.
BLUUURBBLE.
BLUURBLE...
He quickly realizes that this impending movement cannot be completed using the hall restroom.
No, he needs privacy.
He needs comfort.
Things are bound to get messy.
So he gets on the elevator in the lobby.
Mind you, he's staying on the Concierge level, which is like floor 50 or something.
He's decked out in his finest 70's business attire, a blue blazer and yellow pants.
The elevator rises to floor 6 and stops.
A woman and six year old little girl get on.
The blurbling down below is intensifying at each floor and soon he can no longer keep the floodgates closed.
MMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTTTTT!
UUUGGHHHHH oh God, that feels better. Oh God, thank you. Oh yes. Oh God, oh no!
The little girl turns to the woman and says "Mommy, what's wrong with that man?"
They ride silently (well almost) BBBLLLUUURRBBLLLLEEE MMMMMMMRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPH! to the 18th floor and exit the elevator.
He's still taking the ride up to 50, but he's got some extra baggage in the trunk...
He gets to his room, takes one look at the seat of his yellow pants and immediately throws them in the dry cleaning bag.
He completes his transaction, changes into something dry and goes back to his business session.
Two hours later he comes back to find the pants hanging in his closet,
in a dry cleaning bag,
on which is drawn a simple face :(
posted by HemisphereDancer @ 10:35 AM
3 Comments:
:-) very funny story... infact great blog! I think I will be back here often!
You know I love the drycleaning humor!
I "stop by" nearly averyday. I have a friend at work who has no modesty, and ... an irritable bowel problem. so one day she tells us, she is sitting in traffic on hwy 40 and the bowel makes it's irritability known. so before she gets to the bridge (where pulling over for any kind of emergency just has to wait until you're off the bridge) she pulls over and "relieves herself" in the tall weeds. nice. she also trapped into a 30 minute dissertation about the giant hemmoriod she got when she was pregnant. I'll spare you all the details of that one! -meredith-
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