Come On Blue!

So Trixie and I went to the baseball game. We had box seats on the 1st base side, thanks to the generosity of our neighbor Dolph.

First of all, it's hotter than a monkey's ass in the place.

But, we settle in and begin to enjoy the game.

Until he says it.

"Come on blue!" "Let's go blue!"

Nonsensical comments continue to bellow from behind us, and I ask Trixie if someone's here on their special day,

Nunez hits a chopper to short and is out by four steps and again we get ""Aw, come on blue!".

A foul ball into the first row of seats along first base and we get a "Come on blue! Let's run a little more!"

Carlos Lee grounds out to second and we get a "Good call blue!"

I finally have to get up to grab a beer and go see Dolph and as we're walking, Trixie asks me "So, is he rooting for the umpire?"

A short visit to Dolph and an unsuccessful attempt to sit one row ahead of them (this I don't get. We're ALL sitting in field boxes, my seat just happens to be on the 1st base line and he's sitting twelve rows up behind home plate, and in the fifth inning, when I spy two completely empty rows in front of Dolph and Trixie and I sit, we're asked to leave and return to our seats? Huh? The seats were empty the entire game!) we return to our seats and I glance at him.

He's big.

He's fat.

But he clearly isn't retarded.

He just sounds like it.

So, when he looks at the scoreboard and says loudly "Man! The Cardinals are winning 9-2!", I assume the Congress of Superheroes is in town, because he's clearly Captain Obvious.

OR

When he says "Man! It's finally cooling off in here" and the temperature has only dropped ONE DEGREE in two hours.

The best is when he was CONVINCED that the Brewer's pitcher was balking.

He WASN'T EVEN CLOSE to balking, but the guy incessantly bleated "COME ON BLUE! HE'S BALKING!"

"WATCH 'EM BLUE! BALK! BALK! BALK!"

Finally Dolph rescues me and Trixie in the seventh inning, and we join he and his wife and some friends behind home plate for the remainder of the game.

I manage to snag a game ball and make a big mistake when I let Baron play with it.

By the time I found him later, the damage was done.

He'd chewed up Trixie's game ball.

The game ball that she'd never gotten as a kid, because she either sat behind the protection screen or because she was always forced to leave early to "beat the traffic".

Now who's the retard?