A Treat for the Mind

An email exchange yesterday between my friend Mary and myself. Vince is my best friend and Mary's fiance.

Mary:

I just thought of this.
have you ever had anything weird in your car or a weird combination of things and thought about how embarrassed you'd be if you got in an accident.
well vince and I went to mr and mrs sweeney's house to pick up a jeep full of his toys from thier basement (they are 'cleaning him out' of thier basement) as we were driving home I couldn't stop laughing after I pictured us getting into an accident and toys and trinkets flying out of the car and scattering themselves all over the highway. "FRANK, LOOK OUT FOR THAT PEZ DISPENSER DISPLAY!!!!!!". It would be like santa's sleigh getting hit on the highway.

Me:

Picture Vince getting hit broadside by a train because he’s “late for work”. His cargo, which exploded on impact and is now strewn in the trees and gravel lining the tracks consists of a case of Massengil, four economy bottles of ketchup, a four foot cactus, nine balloon animals, a vibrator and a life size Bart Simpson. He’s laying there, unconscious, as on lookers pilfer through the assorted debris. Huh, Huh, Huh... Oh, and the on lookers think he’s bleeding to death, but he’s just covered in Massengil and ketchup.

Mary:

ew, massengill.
or what if you were in a halloween costume and there you are on the road with your feathered mask and purple tights and tennis shoes. and there are beer cans rolling about on the road because they flew out of your cooler. and your prince c/d is still blaring in the car and it's just finished purple rain and is going onto "gonna party like it's 1999".

Me:

Well, if your name is Vince, you roll downhill on the pavement to retrieve a beer, wipe the powder from your face (your tennis shoes were Reebok pumps, and upon impact they exploded, spraying powder on your face) and enjoy the music until Mary picks you up. While waiting for your ride, you call your friends from your cell phone and tell them that something “awesome” just happened. When Mary arrives, you get this “What??” look on your face.