Seeping Out of My Ear...

Are the contents of my brain...years of memories, common sense, the ability to remember and formulate thought...are the contents of my brain seeping out of my ear?

So, I turned 30 in October. I wish I could blame the cranial vacancy on this turn of events, but I've been noticing some problems for the past year or so. Don't become alarmed, I assure you I'm not ill...I'm just getting dumber. I can't understand how or why it's happening, but I'm regressing more and more every day. I've begun to lose my short term...what was I saying? Anyway, my wife, who's a medical person, assures me I'm not getting any dumber, just older.

I don't know about that. My friends, who are my age, aren't getting dumber. Well, there is Vince, but we can chalk that up to "better living through pharmaceuticals" and a few years of a Bob Segeresque existence. Anyway, we're talking about me. I wish I could give you a few examples of my mindlessness, but I can't recall any. Which, is why I'm posting here...at least I can refer to my blog now and again as I chronicle my thoughts, observations and opinions.

An Observation -

So I'm creeping along in my car the other day, in the rain soaked, tail light illuminated left lane of Hwy 44. I live in St. Louis. Bored to the point of stabbing my eyes with pencils, I glance to my right. Poured into a heap of trash on wheels is a big fat hoosier. (Author's note: I will use the term hoosier in an extremely prevelant manner. For those of you living outside the St. Louis metropolitan area, a hoosier is a hick, a redneck, a backwoods moron, someone who's referred to by their children as Uncle Dad) So, the hoosier behind the wheel is enjoying a smoke, most likely of the Dirt Cheap Store 99 cents per pack variety, or if it was payday, maybe GPC's...Now ordinarily when one smokes in a vehicle, they crack the window slightly to allow for air escape and to create an opening to ash and eventually discard their cigarette. Not our friend. His window isn't of the traditional variety. Instead of a window, he's got him some clear plastic affixed to the door frame and covering the window opening. Boldly disregarding safety concerns, and the fact that it's pouring down rain and has been for days, my question is why can't you just get the window replaced??? So as I examine the craftsmanship closer, I notice that our friend is in fact able to "crack his window", as he's rolled up the front bottom corner of his plastic, and is using the six inch opening to ash his cigarette.

I see alot of funny shit everyday. I think one of my favorites lately is the lady I saw jogging down a busy street with her golden retriever. That by itself is not very funny. But the fact that the dog is smiling and jogging along with its own shit bag tethered to its collar is...We have very strict "cleanup" laws around here. Now, does that dog really need to be subjected to having its waste hoisted around its neck??? Imagine if you made your wife or husband do that...opens up a whole new market for jewelers and the ziplok people doesn't it???

I may not know much, but I do know I'd rather have the contents of my brain seeping out of my ears than have a bag of my own shit draped over my shoulders.